Rules For Life

[Spiral]

Just so we're all clear and in agreement and there's no pretence among us or anything, absolutely nobody is following a single one of these rules, right? I think it's actually central to the human condition to ignore sound advice.

[Bop]

Never trust a man with egg on his face.

[Falcon]

Never trust a dog with orange eyebrows

[Vegas Claret]

It’s only a mistake if you do it twice.

brilliant

[Polesworth]

An ounce of backbone is worth a ton of wishbone.
(Younger readers Google 'imperial measurements'.)

[andyh]

Be kind to yourself.

[Mayoclaret]

My grandmother once told me "Neither a lender or borrower be". I was about 6 at the time and didnt understand it - she explained it but at 6 that was still a lot to try to take in!

[Billy Balfour]

If you and your team of vampire killers are hunting the undead, don't ask the one who has dyslexia to buy the stakes.

[Vino blanco]

My grandmother once told me "Neither a lender or borrower be". I was about 6 at the time and didnt understand it - she explained it but at 6 that was still a lot to try to take in!

The quote “Neither a borrower nor a lender be” is a quote from Shakespeare. In Act 1 Scene 3 of Hamlet, Polonius is giving advice to his son Laertes, who is about to travel to France for some time.
Regarding advice from my father, he said to me when I was about eighteen “When you start serious courting with a lass or even decide to get married, always choose a girl with small hands......it will make your dick look bigger”. Genuine words of wisdom.

[TheFamilyCat]

Treat people how you'd like to be treated yourself
Motorways are just a very fast one way street, look a mile ahead, not 200 yards ahead
Assume everyone else on the road is a complete f*****g idiot !
Never bet with money you can't afford to lose
Always leave the Countryside or a Beach without any evidence that you've been there
Never trust the French
Getting married is like choosing the same Breakfast cereal for the rest of your life, don't do it if you still want to choose from a " variety pack " !
There are good and bad people of every race, colour and creed
Try not to bet on a " Handicap " race, they're all supposed to finish in a " Dead Heat "

That was my driving instructor's favourite saying.

[KateR]

no matter how nice smelling the soap in the bathroom is, never come out into public from a bathroom smelling your hands.

My mother said, you'll have to kiss a lot of toads before you meet your prince

Hubby's father said, marry a girl with small hands, my mother in law had tiny hands !

[Lowbankclaret]

If it’s got breasts or you put petrol in it, it will cost you a fortune.

[Tricky Trevor]

Work to live, not live to work.

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.

[HiThere]

If you meet a girl on a night out and she looks the same in the morning - marry her.

[brexit]

Marriage - expectation without communication

[Lord Beamish]

“Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”

Dean Vernon Wormer.

[dibraidio]

Don't give importance to the opinions of people who you wouldn't take advice from.

[Rowls]

Don't give importance to the opinions of people who you wouldn't take advice from.

That's a good one dibradio.

[Falcon]

Don't stick your dick in crazy

[It Is What It Is]

Getting married will stop you from doing all the things you want to do in life.

[Clarets4me]

That was my driving instructor's favourite saying. /quote]

Number 2, ( Motorways ) or Number 3 ( Idiots ) ??

[Clarets4me]

“Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” - Dean Vernon Wormer.

" They took the Bar ! The whole f*****g Bar !! "

I wonder if that film is as funny now I'm in my 60th year, as it was when I was 20 ??

[AfloatinClaret]

If at first you don't succeed, say '**** it' and go have a beer.

[Lord Beamish]

" They took the Bar ! The whole f*****g Bar !! "

I wonder if that film is as funny now I'm in my 60th year, as it was when I was 20 ??

“Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbour?”

That’s a funny line no matter how old you are.

[Clarets4me]

“Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbour?”
That’s a funny line no matter how old you are.

" Just blanks, right ? "
" We're looking for a girl with a morally casual attitude .... "
" It's not a question of whether we took a few liberties with our female guests, we did ! ( wink ) "

How come I remember these lines, and not where I was last Friday, without resorting to my diary ?

[Guitargeorge]

Don’t go out int rain if yer clogs leak.

[depechedingle]

never play near steam rollers.

[timshorts]

Work to live, not live to work.

Fattypuffs and thinifers?

Much better advice than the Shakespeare quote above.

[Bin Ont Turf]

Being offended by something is subjective and just a personal feeling.

So the rule is, ignore the sandal wearers.

[TheFamilyCat]

Being offended by something is subjective and just a personal feeling.

So the rule is, ignore the sandal wearers.

Why make a rule that you can't follow yourself?

[Bin Ont Turf]

Why make a rule that you can't follow yourself?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Unless you're doing that modern day childish thing, where by because I mentioned something I must be obsessed with it.

Grow up Cat.

[TheFamilyCat]

Is this what you mean by ignoring them?

Like with anything sandal wearing in this country, they have a point but they take it too far and make normal folk hate them.

The same reason they don't put England U19's women on TV.

The BBC is sandal wearing pathetic, but not for pushing the England team in the Women's European Championships in England.

Absolutely rammed with acid tongued nasty sandal wearers is this country these days.

Unforgiving zealots who want blood.

The nastiness and hate hold no bounds for these sad snivelling sandal wearing woke lunatics.

Culturally, religiously and sexually absolute dodge pots.

I see that the sandal wearing illuminati on here are already throwing their milkshakes.

[Tricky Trevor]

I wear sandals and I refuse to be pigeon-holed.

[bpgburn]

Is this what you mean by ignoring them?

Wow, why would anyone search the archives for "Sandal wearer" to prove a point on what was a lighthearted comment on a lighthearted thread? I take it you wear sandals?

[jos]

Live and let live.

[jos]

“Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbour?”

That’s a funny line no matter how old you are.

Is this a line from a film?

Because it was the Japanese that bombed Pearl Harbour, or am I missing the joke?

[Cabbage]

Never eat yellow snow.

[Lord Beamish]

Is this a line from a film?

Because it was the Japanese that bombed Pearl Harbour, or am I missing the joke?

That is the joke.

[houseboy]

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

This one irritates me. Sorry. It just simply isn’t true.

[Middle-agedClaret]

This one irritates me. Sorry. It just simply isn’t true.

The way I’ve always understood it is that if you have a difficult, unpleasant , sad or otherwise unwanted experience, and you come through it - you will be better prepared mentally and physically, to deal with something else challenging in the future,
Has always worked for me.

[IanMcL]

If you and your team of vampire killers are hunting the undead, don't ask the one who has dyslexia to buy the stakes.

Nor the Garnoldswick

[Bosscat]

Is this what you mean by ignoring them?

Perhaps he just hates sandals

[HahaYeah]

Winston Churchill.

'If you're going through Hell...keep going.'

[colner]

never trust anyone who doesnt drink

[sjb]

never trust anyone who doesnt drink

Why? I don't drink but I consider myself to be trustworthy. I struggle to see any correlation between teetotalism and trustworthiness

[Bigbopper]

Never sh-t on your own doorstep

[houseboy]

The way I’ve always understood it is that if you have a difficult, unpleasant , sad or otherwise unwanted experience, and you come through it - you will be better prepared mentally and physically, to deal with something else challenging in the future,
Has always worked for me.

It’s a strange one bud but I understand the sentiment behind it, I just can’t see how, if you have for instance a car accident that doesn’t kill you but you wind up severely disabled with brain damage how that can possibly make you stronger. A friend of mine had a stroke and he survived but he now needs 24 hour care.
Apologies for being a bit pedantic but it just seems like one of those phrases that looks good until you look at the detail, then it all kinda falls apart.

[Jel]

Never put your fingers where you wouldn't put your dick!

[Falcon]

Never put your fingers where you wouldn't put your dick!

I'm gonna struggle to pick my nose now

[dandeclaret]

This video is one of my favourites.... and provides great rules for life https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoEezZD71sc&t=717s