Lyle Foster on his battle with depression

Raconteur · Post by **Raconteur** » Wed Jul 12, 2023 8:17 pm

Apologies if already posted but i spotted the below linked interview with Lyle on his battle with depression and anxiety. Hopefully the people (not everyone) who seem to want to give him stick gets right behind him and support him.
http://www.947.co.za/articles/478790

jdrobbo · Post by **jdrobbo** » Wed Jul 12, 2023 8:25 pm

Absolutely!!!

Bosscat · Post by **Bosscat** » Wed Jul 12, 2023 8:25 pm

Raconteur wrote: ↑
Wed Jul 12, 2023 8:17 pm
Apologies if already posted but i spotted the below linked interview with Lyle on his battle with depression and anxiety. Hopefully the people (not everyone) who seem to want to give him stick gets right behind him and support him.
http://www.947.co.za/articles/478790

1000%

ksrclaret · Post by **ksrclaret** » Wed Jul 12, 2023 8:26 pm

Good on him for speaking about it and I hope he's in a better place for the moment.

The move to a new country to play in a highly demanding system can't have been easy for him.

There have been some really poor comments on this board about Lyle Foster (one poster said he'd seen enough after 10 minutes to write him off). I hope some knowledge of this will help those posters to be more reasoned, because there have been lots of reasonable comments as well.

Uwe Noble · Post by **Uwe Noble** » Wed Jul 12, 2023 8:31 pm

Nothing would please me more than to see Lyle have a really good season in the Prem.

bfcjg · Post by **bfcjg** » Wed Jul 12, 2023 9:04 pm

I hope he takes inspiration and advice from fellow professionals who have suffered like he has, fought their way through it and have come out the other side stronger. He is at a proper community club now where the vast majority of us support our players through thick and thin.

NewClaret · Post by **NewClaret** » Wed Jul 12, 2023 9:06 pm

Uwe Noble wrote: ↑
Wed Jul 12, 2023 8:31 pm
Nothing would please me more than to see Lyle have a really good season in the Prem.

I think he will. Looked a great player towards the end of last season.

GodIsADeeJay81 · Post by **GodIsADeeJay81** » Wed Jul 12, 2023 9:17 pm

Good that he's opening up.

Benni McCarthy is working at Utd, so he's got a fellow south African nearby to talk with if needs be I suspect.

Probably why VK always said Foster didn't need to worry about how he was last season, just focus on settling in etc.

Carwin261 · Post by **Carwin261** » Wed Jul 12, 2023 9:41 pm

Just shows ,people saying comments on social media should really be careful,and that applies to people on this message board as well ,personally Ive criticised Wout ,but the old adage about ‘If you’ve nothing nice to say then don’t say it’ could really apply to some of the comments about Lyle Foster.

Casper2 · Post by **Casper2** » Wed Jul 12, 2023 9:45 pm

He certainly improved as the season went on , could turn out to be a top player

Woodleyclaret · Post by **Woodleyclaret** » Wed Jul 12, 2023 9:50 pm

People who have never lived with or had family who have had depression have no idea what it does to you
Lyle will turn out well and I also think he can be a star this season

Cleveleys_claret · Post by **Cleveleys_claret** » Wed Jul 12, 2023 10:01 pm

Hope he gets himself right and he flourishes for us

Maybe those commenting on Brownhills ears should take a long hard look at themselves

Pearcey · Post by **Pearcey** » Wed Jul 12, 2023 10:43 pm

Poor lad. Great that he’s felt comfortable to talk about it when so many of us don’t. Hope he is able to manage it and have great career with us. Crazy to think that I just thought he needed a goal!

LoveCurryPies · Post by **LoveCurryPies** » Wed Jul 12, 2023 10:44 pm

Anyone who has suffered from depression wouldn’t wish it on their enemies. My description….it’s like the thickest, blackest fog but inside your head. It sucks every ounce of energy out of you.

But you can beat it. It might be the hardest fight of your life, but you can win. Life can become good again.

Big Vinny K · Post by **Big Vinny K** » Wed Jul 12, 2023 11:17 pm

Cleveleys_claret wrote: ↑
Wed Jul 12, 2023 10:01 pm
Hope he gets himself right and he flourishes for us

Maybe those commenting on Brownhills ears should take a long hard look at themselves

Spot on.
And one of the main posters on that Brownhill thread is quite prevalent on this thread.

Good luck to Lyle and well done for speaking about it.

CoolClaret · Post by **CoolClaret** » Wed Jul 12, 2023 11:21 pm

Cleveleys_claret wrote: ↑
Wed Jul 12, 2023 10:01 pm
Hope he gets himself right and he flourishes for us

Maybe those commenting on Brownhills ears should take a long hard look at themselves

Retweet.

Darthlaw · Post by **Darthlaw** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 6:40 am

LoveCurryPies wrote: ↑
Wed Jul 12, 2023 10:44 pm
Anyone who has suffered from depression wouldn’t wish it on their enemies. My description….it’s like the thickest, blackest fog but inside your head. It sucks every ounce of energy out of you.

But you can beat it. It might be the hardest fight of your life, but you can win. Life can become good again.

Went through the main part of it last year and still recovering. As LCP has said, I wouldn’t wish it on my enemies because it’s effing horrible.

Best of luck to Lyle for both this season and dealing with his mental health.

Suratclaret · Post by **Suratclaret** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 7:33 am

LoveCurryPies wrote: ↑
Wed Jul 12, 2023 10:44 pm
Anyone who has suffered from depression wouldn’t wish it on their enemies. My description….it’s like the thickest, blackest fog but inside your head. It sucks every ounce of energy out of you.

But you can beat it. It might be the hardest fight of your life, but you can win. Life can become good again.

Spot on… depression certainly does suck every ounce of energy out of you and it’s certainly been the hardest fight of my life. After many years life did become good again. Never give up.

You can do it Lyle.

pushpinpussy · Post by **pushpinpussy** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 7:39 am

I hope the idiots who have constantly slagged off this young, brave guy are embarrassed today reading this. But i somehow doubt it.

Foshiznik · Post by **Foshiznik** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 8:25 am

My Father was a independent, confident, successfully self employed mechanic for 19 years after buying the company he had worked at since his apprenticeship in 1971. In around 2009, he finally accepted that he had been struggling with depression and anxiety and got the help he needed with support from his family who had been completely unaware. He got through the worst of it but now is a shell of his former personality as if it scarred him for life. Thankfully, he's not anywhere near the darker times of this and i like to think that if he had had the same struggles 10 years later with the amount of awareness out there now, he would have recovered his earlier spark.

Articles like this, an acceptance that men's mental health is a thing, men talking about their struggles and how its less of a shameful acceptance in this day and age provide me with more hope that myself and others of the younger generation won't have to go through the same mental health issues alone like my dad did.

ClaretTony · Post by **ClaretTony** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 8:31 am

It's often said that one of the most difficult things is being able to open up and talk about your depression and that's something I can concur with although I'm now far more open about it than I used to be and I know that's helped me enormously.

So a huge well done to Lyle Foster for taking this huge step and for being so open. My wish now is that he gets all the help he needs going forward. I wish him nothing but the best.

Clive 1960 · Post by **Clive 1960** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 9:13 am

Yes it's hard to talk about when you are suffering but with the right people around you who you can feel at ease with and talk to them it will help you , so all the best Lyle and take it day by day and you will feel better .

spt_claret · Post by **spt_claret** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 9:48 am

I was diagnosed with depression 11 years ago, but told I likely had had it for several years undiagnosed before that.
It's a daily battle, and one that no two people can fight the same or solve the same. For me, medication was a disaster, I went through multiple medications which only made things worse. It took a long time until I found a therapist who was able to figure out the root issues and start work on it.
I'm in a better place currently but it's still often a rollercoaster.
Whenever I hear of a pro athlete battling depression, I'm always amazed that they can even maintain any level of performance. People who haven't dealt with it sometimes struggle to understand that it's not just about 'feeling sad'. It's an all-encompassing, overwhelming lack of energy, motivation, purpose, or belief.
Foster's life upheaval in the past couple of years has been enormous for anyone let alone a 22 year old, that's going to come with sacrifices.
I'd been critical of his performances, but in this context, it's very, very different and is impressive that he's performing at all, honestly.
Hopefully he's able to get good help, win the daily battles, and regain the sense of self that depression can rob you of. And football is secondary to that, but if he does get that help, I'd expect we'll see a very different player. Best of luck to him.

welsbyswife · Post by **welsbyswife** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 9:52 am

Wishing Lyle all the best. I wonder if the club was aware of this issue when we signed him? He's clearly doing the right thing in talking about his issues but from a commercial perspective if he doesn't settle you would think it might make any future purchasers slightly nervous.

LoveCurryPies · Post by **LoveCurryPies** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 10:58 am

A few things I tried…

Firstly, talk to your GP and get help. Talk with family and a few trusted friends.

Spend time outdoors everyday. Garden, walk, cycle, sunbathe…..light is hugely beneficial.

Eat healthy, drink less alcohol.

Get a calendar and list things to look forward to and for everyday. They don’t have to be huge things.

Look after yourself. That’s a really hard one when you are down.

GodIsADeeJay81 · Post by **GodIsADeeJay81** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 11:29 am

welsbyswife wrote: ↑
Thu Jul 13, 2023 9:52 am
Wishing Lyle all the best. I wonder if the club was aware of this issue when we signed him? He's clearly doing the right thing in talking about his issues but from a commercial perspective if he doesn't settle you would think it might make any future purchasers slightly nervous.

He states the club were aware at the time of the transfer

Also that's a bizarre stance to take

welsbyswife · Post by **welsbyswife** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 12:41 pm

GodIsADeeJay81 wrote: ↑
Thu Jul 13, 2023 11:29 am
He states the club were aware at the time of the transfer

Also that's a bizarre stance to take

It's not a stance, it's a question.

daveisaclaret · Post by **daveisaclaret** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 12:41 pm

It's a ghoulish question

welsbyswife · Post by **welsbyswife** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 12:47 pm

It might be. Not saying it's right but depression is an illness and a nasty one. Not arguing anything other. Football is a cut throat business. If a player was injured for example you'd think twice before spending 10 million on him. All I'm saying is that if someone has an illness that surely must be considered when deciding to purchase him. It's a horrible thing I agree but you can't say it's not something that should be considered.

GodIsADeeJay81 · Post by **GodIsADeeJay81** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 1:34 pm

The club knew about it at time of purchase.
The club have decided that he's worth signing and will ensure he's ok.

agreenwood · Post by **agreenwood** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 2:02 pm

Wonder how many folk expressing sympathy for Foster or Alli today are also giving Wout pelters and joking about Connor Roberts kicking the crap out of him?

welsbyswife · Post by **welsbyswife** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 2:38 pm

GodIsADeeJay81 wrote: ↑
Thu Jul 13, 2023 1:34 pm
The club knew about it at time of purchase.
The club have decided that he's worth signing and will ensure he's ok.

Absolutely fine with that. My initial question was whether they knew about it. It seems from what people are saying that they did and were happy to work with Lyle and provide necessary support. I've no issue with that at all and am not suggesting we shouldn't have signed him. But I maintain it was a valid question and something to take into account.

LDNBFC87 · Post by **LDNBFC87** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 3:21 pm

I'm glad he's getting the support he needs and I'm glad telling us didn't impact us signing him.

Was working in a sales role for a tech firm, told them about my depression and was sacked two weeks later. (Within probation so nothing could be done...)

GodIsADeeJay81 · Post by **GodIsADeeJay81** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 3:52 pm

welsbyswife wrote: ↑
Thu Jul 13, 2023 2:38 pm
Absolutely fine with that. My initial question was whether they knew about it. It seems from what people are saying that they did and were happy to work with Lyle and provide necessary support. I've no issue with that at all and am not suggesting we shouldn't have signed him. But I maintain it was a valid question and something to take into account.

Did you listen to the interview?
Clearly not because it's Foster saying it.

He won't be the only player who gets bouts of depression when moving country/club etc alone.

Bellingham had his mum move over to Germany I think, or at least regular visits to make sure he was ok.

Other players do that too.

Where possible clubs will support players if this issue arises but it doesn't stop them playing or being sold/purchased.

welsbyswife · Post by **welsbyswife** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 4:05 pm

Never mentioned anything about it stopping players being sold, just that it was something to consider. Not quite sure why you're being so jumpy about it, it's not particularly controversial. Clubs spending a lot of money will want to understand the situation of a player they are purchasing. I'm not for a minute saying it stops them carrying on with the transaction. You're putting words into my mouth there.

boyyanno · Post by **boyyanno** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 4:11 pm

welsbyswife wrote: ↑
Thu Jul 13, 2023 4:05 pm
Never mentioned anything about it stopping players being sold, just that it was something to consider. Not quite sure why you're being so jumpy about it, it's not particularly controversial. Clubs spending a lot of money will want to understand the situation of a player they are purchasing. I'm not for a minute saying it stops them carrying on with the transaction. You're putting words into my mouth there.

It's a question that you didn't need to ask to be honest. The welfare of the person is what we should care about. Probably best to stop trying to justify an insensitive post imo.

welsbyswife · Post by **welsbyswife** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 4:31 pm

Absolute nonsense.

welsbyswife · Post by **welsbyswife** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 4:38 pm

Classic social media when someone can't raise a question on a sensitive subject without being shouted down. It was a perfectly valid point to raise on a football message board. Just because something is sensitive doesn't mean someone can't question things.

Alanstevensonsgloves · Post by **Alanstevensonsgloves** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 6:01 pm

pushpinpussy wrote: ↑
Thu Jul 13, 2023 7:39 am
I hope the idiots who have constantly slagged off this young, brave guy are embarrassed today reading this. But i somehow doubt it.

I think that's a bit harsh ppp. Their comments would have been made without the knowledge of Kyle's situation.

I also think that just because someone has depression, they are not immune to constructive feedback on their footballing performance.

I say this as someone who has taken antidepressants for over 5 years. If I was not in the right state of mind I would let my employer know and take time out until I was right to work.

Rileybobs · Post by **Rileybobs** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 6:10 pm

I haven’t really seen anyone slagging Foster off other than the poster who keeps childishly referring to him as pony. It seems Weghorst is fair game for all manner of abuse though ironically.

pushpinpussy · Post by **pushpinpussy** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 6:24 pm

Alanstevensonsgloves wrote: ↑
Thu Jul 13, 2023 6:01 pm
I think that's a bit harsh ppp. Their comments would have been made without the knowledge of Kyle's situation.

I also think that just because someone has depression, they are not immune to constructive feedback on their footballing performance.

I say this as someone who has taken antidepressants for over 5 years. If I was not in the right state of mind I would let my employer know and take time out until I was right to work.

I hope you are getting the help that is out there. A lot of my clients suffer with MH and they have nothing but excellent and positive words for Minds Matters. Regarding my post it was more to do with the fact that people never know what is really going on in the background with others and they should think twice before being negative towards them.

StayingDown4Ever · Post by **StayingDown4Ever** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 6:27 pm

Seems there’s quite a number of posts aimed at myself on this thread.

I didn’t know he had depression and it’s a shame he does and I wish him all the best in his battle.

The fact I think his performances were pony doesn’t change and it’s a shame that people are calling me out on it and almost justifying his displays due to the condition.

It may well have something to do with his showings so far but to try to pull me up (and maybe one or two others who have been disenchanted with his performances so far) is quite sad.

Spiral · Post by **Spiral** » Thu Jul 13, 2023 6:28 pm

stop saying pony it's making me cringe and my skin is peeling off because of the cringe and I like my skin not peeled off please for the love of god never write pony again

Foshiznik · Post by **Foshiznik** » Fri Jul 14, 2023 9:10 am

Would donkey work?

claretonthecoast1882 · Post by **claretonthecoast1882** » Fri Jul 14, 2023 9:12 am

StayingDown4Ever wrote: ↑
Thu Jul 13, 2023 6:27 pm
Seems there’s quite a number of posts aimed at myself on this thread.

I didn’t know he had depression and it’s a shame he does and I wish him all the best in his battle.

The fact I think his performances were pony doesn’t change and it’s a shame that people are calling me out on it and almost justifying his displays due to the condition.

It may well have something to do with his showings so far but to try to pull me up (and maybe one or two others who have been disenchanted with his performances so far) is quite sad.

Ahh so you are happy to dish things out to a player unfairly and seem happy to continue to do so but you would prefer people are nicer to you. Amazing how little some of those who dish it out can take.

Stayingup · Post by **Stayingup** » Fri Jul 14, 2023 9:18 am

Was he suffering depression at the time he signed for us, or has it developed since his arrival?

GodIsADeeJay81 · Post by **GodIsADeeJay81** » Fri Jul 14, 2023 9:24 am

Stayingup wrote: ↑
Fri Jul 14, 2023 9:18 am
Was he suffering depression at the time he signed for us, or has it developed since his arrival?

Prior to signing, states this in the interview