Single, child free and not lonely

[Burnley1989]

Good luck getting a two year old to sit through Scorcese’s latest flick

Everyone says “my kids won’t play on computers or iPads”
I always smile and say, we’ll see

[claptrappers_union]

My mate thinks he would be the world's most outstanding parent and sneers at how other people raise their kids.

"I won't let my kids watch TV" - OK, you want them under your feet all day?
"No way would I give my kids Calpol" - So when they scream the place down because they are unwell, you'll be OK with that?
"My kids won't be glued to their screens, they'll be out playing" - Playing with who exactly? All their friends are at home waiting for them to log in to the game.
"My house will be tidy; only the kid's room will have toys in" - Yeah, it's not as if it's their house as well, is it?

[Superjohnnyfrancis]

It's each to their own, and not for others to judge, I have several friends who have never married or had kids and are very happy.
Personally I would hate not to have had children and grandchildren, I've still been able to travel anywhere I've wanted and done most things I've wanted to. I count myself very fortunate

You’ve done well out of it Nori swanky slap up meal every home game behind the glass and a little wave from Jimbo he comes out of the tunnel. Living your best life it seems

[Nori1958]

You’ve done well out of it Nori swanky slap up meal every home game behind the glass and a little wave from Jimbo he comes out of the tunnel. Living your best life it seems

What are you on about......life was easier when you were banned

[Superjohnnyfrancis]

Mmmmm thats a strange one,/ In Reply.

im retired, 68 end of this month, no friends as such, no children, due to no tadpoles, medical problem by nature, 250 miles away from Burnley not by choice may i add, i married a southern lass, now divorced since March last year, my ex wife has stopped me seeing our 6yr old grandaughter, due to her poisoning my stepsons mind & daughter-in-law & they have believed everything she has told them without them asking me if anything she said was true, she has not spoken to me in six years, but her divorce letter from her solicitors said she wanted to be amicable, bit late when you took me for everything i had and left me with nothing & sleeping in a car for seven n a half months, because of all the lies she told, so i am here in Surrey, stuck here because of the things she did and said about me, im a very lonley old man, peope here look at you gone out even if its only you saying hello or morning to them, i would not be able to move back north because i live in a nice flat down here but would not get the same back home, so if i had my time again would i have married her ? maybe maybe not,when you are young the worlds your oyster, but when you are old & have no wife, children, family, brothers or sisters, to converse with it hits you very hard, i should know, because thats where i am at the moment, you never know what the future holds, so plz beware, hope this answers your question. Some people on this site know who i am, because of things that have happened to me, but being on your own is a killer, nice flat, yes, nice or close friends sorry NO end of.

Read your posts Mick if I was you I’d sell my flat where you live and move back up north ( Burnley) you’ll have a fair wedge of money to spend and you can go on holiday more and attend the match more often. If you’re not keen on the folks down there move back up as you know northerners are friendlier. There are travel agencies you can book on for old folks to meet each other and it can be fun. Wishing you all the best.

[Superjohnnyfrancis]

What are you on about......life was easier when you were banned

Can I come as well I’ll be on my best behaviour

[Nori1958]

Can I come as well I’ll be on my best behaviour

If only you made sense, then I could reply

[Superjohnnyfrancis]

If only you made sense, then I could reply

Don’t worry I’m only pulling your leg

[Nori1958]

Don’t worry I’m only pulling your leg

I don't mind anyone doing that, but I need to understand it at least.

[Neil]

I don't mind anyone doing that, but I need to understand it at least.

None of my business but it's being implied that you have a meal.in corporate hospitality then James Trafford gives you a wave when the teams come out.
Another thread that's gone way off track.

[Nori1958]

None of my business but it's being implied that you have a meal.in corporate hospitality then James Trafford gives you a wave when the teams come out.
Another thread that's gone way off track.

Apologies for my part in that

[Falcon]

I feel you OP.

I'm 37 and don't want kids but unlike you I'm married. Happily for us both, my other half also doesn't want children.

I look at the world we live in, with climate change (and governments worldwide lacking the appetite to adequately deal with it), war, AI technology and all that has to offer in a post-truth society, and I think even if I had a massive urge to procreate I'd still think twice.

However, I've never had that scratch that I needed to itch. I don't mind kids and can have a lot of fun babysitting for friends and family, but much like a visit to London, 'it's a nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there'. I'm quite happy to be the 'cool uncle' who takes them on a day out, gets them all giddy, pumped up on sugar then hands them back to their parents to deal with the aftermath!

I've also noticed that a LOT of my peers have also chosen not to have children. Well over half of my friends are in a similar boat to me, including some that always wanted sprogs but later changed their mind. Generational thing maybe? I can only see that trend continuing. The current crop of young adults coming through don't seem very happy with their lot.

[FCBurnley]

Four basic requirements for a good and happy life

Love your job/work
Love where you live ( linked to above)
Love who you live with ( your choice)
Stay healthy if possible ( not always possible)

[CoolClaret]

Four basic requirements for a good and happy life

Love your job/work
Love where you live ( linked to above)
Love who you live with ( your choice)
Stay healthy if possible ( not always possible)

Totally agree - and if you're not happy with one of them change it!

[Pearcey]

Whatever your situation, live your best life. That’s about it isn’t it?

[BurnleyMickSouth]

REPLY TO SUPER JOHNNY FRANCIS,

Hi Super Johnny,
i like your suggestion about coming back north, yes id like to but being honest id need to have sufficiant funds which i dont have at present, why should i start my life up north again at 68yrs old, with what iv been put through you have no idea ? i live in what is called Independant Living, a nice flat that does NOT belong to me, however everything in it DOES belong to me,i also including a decent 12 yr old car, im on my own and would like nothing more than a lady friend, but Southerners always think you are after something if your friendly, nothing like Northeners, so i guess i am stuck here until God pulls my number out of his bag, the weather is always better here,more sun than rain, i hope this answeres your question to me..................from BURNLEY MICK IN THE BLOODY SOUTH....lol.

[Superjohnnyfrancis]

REPLY TO SUPER JOHNNY FRANCIS,

Hi Super Johnny,
i like your suggestion about coming back north, yes id like to but being honest id need to have sufficiant funds which i dont have at present, why should i start my life up north again at 68yrs old, with what iv been put through you have no idea ? i live in what is called Independant Living, a nice flat that does NOT belong to me, however everything in it DOES belong to me,i also including a decent 12 yr old car, im on my own and would like nothing more than a lady friend, but Southerners always think you are after something if your friendly, nothing like Northeners, so i guess i am stuck here until God pulls my number out of his bag, the weather is always better here,more sun than rain, i hope this answeres your question to me..................from BURNLEY MICK IN THE BLOODY SOUTH....lol.

I dont know about those flats but maybe you could get a transfer to one up North? Get yourself a part time job and get out and about take your mind off things, save up for a holiday and im sure things would be looking up and you'll be closer to the clarets, the weather is crap so your right there. Hopefully my suggestions are helpful, take care bud.

[Claret86]

I had a Sliding Doors moment when I was in my early 30's. I had a good job and had just got married. I hated the way kids negatively impacted on people's lives/relationships. My parents had a terrible relationship which I saw as a kid (I was the eldest of 3.)
I was happy with my life and what I'd achieved and didn't feel the need to have children. BUT I knew I would make a good dad and wanted to bring life into the world that I could nuture. My daughter is now 4 and a half and I'm so glad I had her. I had to change massively as a person and for about 2 years it was incredibly difficult to the point of me suffering with depression (I had lots of things going on at the time, not just child related.)
Its not for everyone. Do what you need to do with your life to make yourself happy, you only get one chance

[GodIsADeeJay81]

My mate thinks he would be the world's most outstanding parent and sneers at how other people raise their kids.

"I won't let my kids watch TV" - OK, you want them under your feet all day?
"No way would I give my kids Calpol" - So when they scream the place down because they are unwell, you'll be OK with that?
"My kids won't be glued to their screens, they'll be out playing" - Playing with who exactly? All their friends are at home waiting for them to log in to the game.
"My house will be tidy; only the kid's room will have toys in" - Yeah, it's not as if it's their house as well, is it?

Let us know if they ever have kids, because they’d get one hell of a shock

[AlargeClaret]

I’ve huge admiration for people living their lives on their own terms so well done to C&J . Kids can be a very expensive mix of heaven and hell , and though I’m hugely proud of my 2 ,I quite envy those who have no maternal instincts whatsoever .

[Burnley1989]

My best mates 34, has no kids but lives in a beautiful cottage in the countryside with loads of land. I’m
Sometimes very envious, he often goes off shooting and fishing in Scotland, eats and trains when he wants and has a great career.
He also once said to me when I was having a moan about family life after a beer “one day you’ll realise how lucky you are”
It’s always stuck with me and was a bit of a wake up call.

There’s no right and wrong, just do what makes you happy and appreciate what you have

[ClaretAL]

I have a slightly different slant on this. As some one here know my wife died 3 years ago at the young age of 47. In the 27 years we had together we produced 2 fantastic children one of which produced a grandson. 1 of my children live with me and I can hand on heart say I don’t want/need to get in to another relationship. To learn the give and take of some one else when all I will ever want and need is my late wife would not be fair on me or anyone else. I am content with life and I am grateful for the family I have. But I guess I have the best of both worlds.

[Bosscat]

I will pop my tuppenyworth in ...

I have been happily married for 30 years next year ... I have no kids of my own but have 2 step-grown ups ... both married and who have given us 7 wonderful (step in my case) grandchildren ... all of whom call me "Grandad Burnley".

My late brother who retired to LP and who came to be an ardent BFC fan. He never married and was very happy living on his own, socialising with us and at BFC.

Everyone lives different lives ... some need people around them 24-7 and some happy in their own company ... I feel for people who want more but can't find it, and hope they fulfill their wishes and find happiness.

Live your life how you want ... we do

[Lu-tze]

Pushing 40, happily living with partner, never wanted children.
I look at the state of the world and think how could I consciously bring a human being into it.
Also, I’ve never felt capable of looking after myself never mind a child!
Maybe it’s my mental health problems that have influenced my outlook.
Friends and family with kids have said to me ‘Oh you’ll feel different when you’ve got kids, they’ll give your life meaning and purpose’ but I always think that’s quite a selfish reason to have kids and a lot to put on a child; ‘I was depressed and thought life/the world was crap so I had you to make me feel better and give my life meaning- no pressure!!

[No Ney Never]

I would argue that if you need to be on a football message board late on a Sunday night, discussing this matter with other sad lonely individuals (who you do not know) then something is probably missing in your life.

And there's no irony to you needing to post on the same thread?

[Bosscat]

And there's no irony to you needing to post on the same thread?

Ah but ppp didn't post late at night ... posted at 6am gmt (unless of course he is on holiday and the time difference )

[CryerBFC]

It’s entirely up to the individual I’d say.

My now 5 year old, nearly 6, is the absolute apple of my eye, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Does he cost me an arm and a leg? Yes
Have I missed out on a few social events/holidays with friends? Yes
Would I have a bit more disposable income? Absolutely

I’m very lucky in that I have a group of friends in similar circumstances, with similar interests. My son now loves going on the Turf, loves football, loves playing with his friends and loves going on holidays.

There’s been times where I think, what would life be like without him, but I know for a fact he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

[GetIntoEm]

I never wanted children, however i've ended up with 2 girls.

Parenting doesnt need to be difficult, i cringe when i see others pandering to their children's whims or think children need to be treated a certain way. "little harry has to have his chicken nuggets and chips at 4pm". My children have always eaten the same as us, at the same time. its not done them any harm.

Same with social settings, our children are quite happy to go out for a meal without the the need to run around the place or disturbing other diners.

its about priming them for the situation.

We both work, kids are both in school, we holiday a few times a year as a family, we try to fit adults only breaks or events in, but if not possible its no big deal. i wouldnt say our social life has suffered, probably improved if anything.

now we all go the turf together also, which is our favourite family activity.

[Steddyman]

I’ll be lucky to make it to 86 but I don’t think the reason to have kids should be to have someone to look after you when you’re old.

If you had asked me before I got married, and even after I got married if I wanted kids, the answer was no. Mainly because I thought I couldn't understand them.

If you asked me now, I'd tell you I consider having and raising kids the meaning of life. Both a wonderful and challenging experience i would not change. However, it is a massive impact on your life, and if you like travelling loads and being spontaneous, then it might not be something you could do.

But my comment wasn't that they would care for you, it is that they would be there for you. Some of the residents that live alone are very sad, and I find myself talking and spending time with them.

[ISpeds00]

Each to their own. To some kids are the reason to live, to me, having a kid would be like clamping my own car.

People say that though until it happens
and when it happens, you'd never look back

[Nori1958]

People say that though until it happens
and when it happens, you'd never look back

Not everybody wants kids though
There are some very sensible people on this thread who realise they don't want children. Better that than unwanted children

[ŽižkovClaret]

People say that though until it happens
and when it happens, you'd never look back

I suspect some of those are merely trying to make the best of it and knuckling down when something they didn't want happens

[GetIntoEm]

I suspect some of those are merely trying to make the best of it and knuckling down when something they didn't want happens

works both ways though, i suspect some claiming they are happy to be single and have no kids say that as a coping mechanism for not being fortunate enough to experience it

[ŽižkovClaret]

works both ways though, i suspect some claiming they are happy to be single and have no kids say that as a coping mechanism for not being fortunate enough to experience it

[dsr]

works both ways though, i suspect some claiming they are happy to be single and have no kids say that as a coping mechanism for not being fortunate enough to experience it

I think, rather than accusing people of lying, it might be both more tactful and more accurate to suppose that such people would simply not post on this thread.