I don't understand this? Why would anyone want to "completely empty their bowels"?

Surely a sign of a good digestive tract is having a regular flow? And yet the idea of it must appeal to people out there or surely these adverts wouldn't keep appearing.

There's very often pictures of mashed up bananas accompanying the adverts though how desacrating poor bananas helps anyone "completely empty" their bowels is beyond me.

Occasionally the Imp of the Perverse tempts me to click on these silly links but thankfully common sense wins out in the end.

I've actaully got my own "simple trick" that keeps me in good health in this respect - I eat a varied, healthy balance and take a dump when I need to. Works a treat.

Also. Can it be a trick if it’s simple? Surely tricks are ingenious or conniving.

Real Ale.

Sorted.

This is one of the more bizarre threads of recent times

Hmmmmm not sure about that Charlie. Sometimes the simplicity of a trick is it's beauty.

Are there any other unlikely body goals that get advertised out there?

I dunno?

Maybe somebody gets adverts like

"This one simple trick can remove your backbone instantly"

or

"Doctors baffled as Padiham womans turns herself inside out"

or

"One simple trick to monetize your toenails"

I mean, although I don't believe them, I understand why people might want to find out how "Burnley Mum makes £1000 per day sitting on her arse" and try the same themselves.

But the desire to "completely empty your bowels"???? What's all that about???

Prior to having a camera inserted a few years ago I was given a substance to take the night before. After taking I was advised to stay near the loo... If anyone has ever unblocked a downspout then they'd understand how my bowels were emptied....

crap thread

Vegas Claret wrote: ↑

Mon Sep 27, 2021 7:50 pm

crap thread

How long will it run?

The little click-bait ads that annoy me are the "You'll be amazed at how this (ex semi-well-known actor/singer) looks now after 25/35/45 years."

No I wont - I barely knew what they looked like then and am aware that people get wrinklier and a bit sagier with age.

boatshed bill wrote: ↑

Mon Sep 27, 2021 7:53 pm

How long will it run?

Logged in just to like that.

Zooniverser wrote: ↑

Mon Sep 27, 2021 7:58 pm

Logged in just to like that.

Logged in

See what you did there

Four or five pints of Pedigree will shift anything.

I have a foolproof solution: run 15-20kms on a breakfast full of dairy!! I’ve never been so pleased to stumble across a Waitrose in all my life, whilst out running! #runnersbelly

I've seen a video clip involving Mentos, a fizzy drink, funnel and a lot of space......

Seemed to work though

evensteadiereddie wrote: ↑

Mon Sep 27, 2021 8:22 pm

Four or five pints of Pedigree will shift anything.

Angela is that you?

8 pints of Guinness and a bowl of Prunes...






Anyone else think the OP was Pstotto till they looked

Once of a day walking back to the train station from Burnden Park did the trick.

When colonic irrigation was a big thing did the scientists not point out it was actually bad for you?
Half an hour after breakfast every day means medication is not required here.

This thread is a right load of sh........te, clicking on the link would likely empty your bank account or your devices hard drive

CnBtruntru wrote: ↑

Tue Sep 28, 2021 6:13 am

This thread is a right load of sh........te, clicking on the link would likely empty your bank account or your devices hard drive

Well, yes. The thread is about completely emptying your hard drive....

Sometimes it's really dire here.

Rowls - 'Take a dump' is American.

In English it's 'have a Blackburn Rovers'.

If you feel as though the bottom has dropped out of your world; drink Watneys Red and the world will drop out of your bottom.

bfcjg wrote: ↑

Tue Sep 28, 2021 7:58 am

Sometimes it's really dire here.

Cringeworthy.

gawthorpe_view wrote: ↑

Tue Sep 28, 2021 8:37 am

Cringeworthy.

One tries .

evensteadiereddie wrote: ↑

Mon Sep 27, 2021 8:22 pm

Four or five pints of Pedigree will shift anything.

Was about to post the exact same

Pedigree “it either gets your a*se or your head” as my neighbour finely put it.

LeadBelly wrote: ↑

Mon Sep 27, 2021 7:54 pm

The little click-bait ads that annoy me are the "You'll be amazed at how this (ex semi-well-known actor/singer) looks now after 25/35/45 years."

Heh. I know what you mean. Shock as early 1970s teenage actress now looks nearly 50 years older.

bfcjg wrote: ↑

Mon Sep 27, 2021 10:19 pm

Once of a day walking back to the train station from Burnden Park did the trick.

Yes that famous rearranged night match in the seventies nearly emptied mine. I can remember my sphincter nibbling on my underpants all the way back to the station.

I once took a laxative before bed as I was a bit bunged up. The next morning was atrocious. What the tablet did was make me ill! I passed out and had to lie down in the shower whilst it all came out, and I mean all. I think half my intestines came out that day. A lot better to just be constipated then go through that again. It was incredibly violent and the smell was indescribable.

thelaughingclaret wrote: ↑

Tue Sep 28, 2021 12:51 pm

I once took a laxative before bed as I was a bit bunged up. The next morning was atrocious. What the tablet did was make me ill! I passed out and had to lie down in the shower whilst it all came out, and I mean all. I think half my intestines came out that day. A lot better to just be constipated then go through that again. It was incredibly violent and the smell was indescribable.

I was actually half way through my lunch whilst reading this I shan't finish it .

thelaughingclaret wrote: ↑

Tue Sep 28, 2021 12:51 pm

I once took a laxative before bed as I was a bit bunged up. The next morning was atrocious. What the tablet did was make me ill! I passed out and had to lie down in the shower whilst it all came out, and I mean all. I think half my intestines came out that day. A lot better to just be constipated then go through that again. It was incredibly violent and the smell was indescribable.

I was actually half way through my lunch whilst reading this I shan't finish it .

There is a video that been doing the rounds for a few years on youtube ... of a gentleman doing a bungee jump that does exactly what the title of this thread says ... it certainly did the trick for him

jdrobbo wrote: ↑

Mon Sep 27, 2021 8:25 pm

I have a foolproof solution: run 15-20kms on a breakfast full of dairy!! I’ve never been so pleased to stumble across a Waitrose in all my life, whilst out running! #runnersbelly

I did the Great North Run the other week and that certainly emptied my bowels around 9 miles in. When people ask me my time i have to remember to take off the two minutes that i spent crouching behind some roadside shrubbery as a torrent of poo came bursting out my bum hole

bfcjg wrote: ↑

Mon Sep 27, 2021 10:19 pm

Once of a day walking back to the train station from Burnden Park did the trick.

Certainly a lot different to the new set up at Horwich

Claret Till I Die wrote: ↑

Mon Sep 27, 2021 7:49 pm

Prior to having a camera inserted a few years ago I was given a substance to take the night before. After taking I was advised to stay near the loo... If anyone has ever unblocked a downspout then they'd understand how my bowels were emptied....

I had one of those 2 years ago at Blackpool Victoria the day before I started the emptying routine using the imaginatively named 'Bowel Prep' it worked complete and utter evacuation and when you find out what the examination involves the emptier the better, but the good results were worth it.

Can’t argue with running /walking “ cure” Must be the general body movement but I always ensure I’ve done my business before my run . Once jogging round Heaton park and realising things were getting a touch “ turtles “ at the end of the run . Park being huge ,darted into woods ,came out on totally secluded greenery and quickly performed an evacuation. On hearing voices I quickly rubbed my arrse on the grass, shorts up and jogged bag innocently to the path . Only then realising I’d “ been” on the golf course perimeter ..

Celtic at home