Bomb squad at A&E

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cbx750
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Bomb squad at A&E

Post by cbx750 » Fri Dec 03, 2021 6:52 pm


Claret
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by Claret » Fri Dec 03, 2021 7:02 pm

Arsenal
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tarkys_ears
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by tarkys_ears » Fri Dec 03, 2021 7:02 pm

Happens all the time... right?!


:D :D : D

TheFamilyCat
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by TheFamilyCat » Fri Dec 03, 2021 7:03 pm

Bum squad, surely?

Billy Balfour
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by Billy Balfour » Fri Dec 03, 2021 7:04 pm

Why is this news. I mean, who hasn't turned up at A&E with a WW2 mortar shell stuck up your arse?
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TheFamilyCat
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by TheFamilyCat » Fri Dec 03, 2021 7:08 pm

He didn't like it up him Captain Mainwaring.
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Billy Balfour
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by Billy Balfour » Fri Dec 03, 2021 7:08 pm

I also feel sorry for the poor guy. Bet he was fairly shell shocked by the whole experience.
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taio
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by taio » Fri Dec 03, 2021 7:12 pm

MRI scan = Mortar Rectally Inserted scan

taio
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by taio » Fri Dec 03, 2021 7:15 pm

MRI scan = My Rear-end Injured scan

Lancasterclaret
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by Lancasterclaret » Fri Dec 03, 2021 7:16 pm

Fire in the hole!
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taio
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by taio » Fri Dec 03, 2021 7:17 pm

MRI scan = Massive Ring-piece Irritation scan.

Yep I'm bored.

Spiral
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by Spiral » Fri Dec 03, 2021 7:21 pm

I've blown up toilets before but this is next level.

"Military enthusiast" lol.

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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by Lancasterclaret » Fri Dec 03, 2021 7:22 pm

There is a joke here to be made about the country and its issues with the past, but I for one will not being making it

bodge
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by bodge » Fri Dec 03, 2021 7:23 pm

I have to say this poor chap was extremely unfortunate in tripping up with no trousers on and landing on this piece of munitions or maybe he was trying to blow his piles off :o

Cirrus_Minor
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by Cirrus_Minor » Fri Dec 03, 2021 7:26 pm

For what good those old shells are now you might as just shove……

Lancasterclaret
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by Lancasterclaret » Fri Dec 03, 2021 7:33 pm

Patient - I've got really bad piles

Doctor - I'm sorry, what?

Patient - Heavymortarshelloids

Doctor -

Patient -

Doctor - *this is going in Lancet*

Billy Balfour
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by Billy Balfour » Fri Dec 03, 2021 7:43 pm

This guy wasn't exactly kind to the A&E staff. Apparently, he had a short fuse.

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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by JohnMac » Fri Dec 03, 2021 7:47 pm

It was an Artillery anti tank round so not from a Mortar.

Stands to reason really otherwise it might have 'gone off' and they would have needed a builder to chip it out :D

cbx750
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by cbx750 » Fri Dec 03, 2021 7:49 pm

Billy Balfour wrote:
Fri Dec 03, 2021 7:43 pm
This guy wasn't exactly kind to the A&E staff. Apparently, he had a short fuse.
They called the police who decided to let him off.
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LoveCurryPies
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by LoveCurryPies » Fri Dec 03, 2021 8:13 pm

A friend who is a surgeon told me people put all sorts up their bottoms....including live animals like gerbils. :lol:

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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by JohnMac » Fri Dec 03, 2021 8:24 pm

LoveCurryPies wrote:
Fri Dec 03, 2021 8:13 pm
A friend who is a surgeon told me people put all sorts up their bottoms....including live animals like gerbils. :lol:
A Doctor acquaintance who spent time at UCH in London in the 1980's told me about a few incidents during his time there, it included the odd reference to a 'name'. :shock: We were in Norway during a violent storm and a bottle or two of Chateauneuf Du Pape with Breakfast aids confidentiality (you forget things). :lol:

GodIsADeeJay81
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by GodIsADeeJay81 » Fri Dec 03, 2021 9:04 pm

New meaning to the phrase "explosive diarrhea" ...

The old tripped and fell excuse again I see.

Billy Balfour
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by Billy Balfour » Fri Dec 03, 2021 9:11 pm

A nurse we know works in A&E. One day a guy came in with a vibrator stuck up his bum. She asked him to remove his underwear so they could take it out. Take it out, he bellowed. I just want you to change the batteries!

Rowls
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by Rowls » Fri Dec 03, 2021 9:22 pm


Zlatan
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by Zlatan » Sat Dec 04, 2021 8:13 am

Always remember this one…

https://youtu.be/quqGKDqi3Yw

ARMAGEDDON:D

Billy Balfour
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by Billy Balfour » Sun Dec 05, 2021 11:51 am

Image
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Jamesy
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by Jamesy » Sun Dec 05, 2021 12:00 pm

LoveCurryPies wrote:
Fri Dec 03, 2021 8:13 pm
A friend who is a surgeon told me people put all sorts up their bottoms....including live animals like gerbils. :lol:
That is where the Pet Shop Boys the pop group got their name from. I kid you not. Apparently the teeth of the gerbil are removed and a toilet roll type tube is then used for the furry creature to enter said rectum. Gives the recipient of the gerbil a sexual high, apparently. Not nice for the poor gerbil though.

brexit
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by brexit » Sun Dec 05, 2021 2:23 pm

Hamster not gerbil. Gerbils back legs too long

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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by brexit » Sun Dec 05, 2021 2:23 pm

Hamster not gerbil. Gerbils back legs too long

Jamesy
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by Jamesy » Sun Dec 05, 2021 2:28 pm

Sorry yes, I stand corrected. Not from personal experience though, I might add.

bodge
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by bodge » Sun Dec 05, 2021 2:34 pm

Looks like brexit is the go to man for advice on inserting animals up your rectum.
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LoveCurryPies
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by LoveCurryPies » Sun Dec 05, 2021 11:27 pm

brexit wrote:
Sun Dec 05, 2021 2:23 pm
Hamster not gerbil. Gerbils back legs too long
You obviously have more knowledge of these things. :lol:

Wile E Coyote
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by Wile E Coyote » Mon Dec 06, 2021 12:10 am

surely if over the counter laxatives prove to be useless from the local chemist, its quite obvious ordnance from WW11, is the next best thing.

brexit
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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by brexit » Mon Dec 06, 2021 4:01 pm

LoveCurryPies wrote:
Sun Dec 05, 2021 11:27 pm
You obviously have more knowledge of these things. :lol:
Unfortunately by association with the canal street creatives - early 90's pagers and giving "prospectives" your number was a thing

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Re: Bomb squad at A&E

Post by Bosscat » Mon Dec 06, 2021 4:19 pm

This reminds me of that old joke about the person that got their Vibrator stuck up their bottom ... they woke up in A&E and the doctor was stood at the side of the bed ... "Good news and bad news I'm afraid ... bad news we were not able to retrieve your vibrator as its well and truly stuck ... but its good news too, we managed to change the batteries"

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