It's an unnatural and ungodly thing to do but I've given up on survival,
And now I'm kidding myself that it provides me with a kind of spiritual inner calm and aloofness from events, whatever they may be. Oh no, sir, no no no you can't touch me. I am insouciance moulded into human form. I am nonchalance, indifference and all of the other synonyms.
I've got from now until 3pm to continue to kid myself and I intend to enjoy the time as much as possible. I'll be nodding and cheerily greeting strangers with warm 'hellos' and appreciating the sound of birdsong on this bright and fertile spring morning.
So go ahead, Burnley. Do your worst today. See if I care.